Is it better to have a crush or a boyfriend?
All of us girls have crushes from time to time. We meet a guy; we like how he looks, how he talks, how he dresses; eventually we may start liking so many things about him that we start crushing over him. We start thinking about him every day, we fantasize about him during a boring class or before we go to sleep, we talk about him with our friends; we start to forget his flaws, and eventually start loving him. Some of these crushes disappear with time, some stay longer, and some may even become boyfriends. My question for you is: is it better to have a crush or a boyfriend?
Crushes are weird. They start as mere admiration, but end up in something completely unexpected. Some crushes are short ‘phases’ that we get over quickly, but some last longer, much longer that what we would expect. We tend to develop fantasies about the ones we like longer. Those fantasies may be incredible, or, perhaps, unrealistic. We could picture ourselves with the guy we like in a perfect relationship without any problems, when, in reality, the relationship might not work out at all. We could have such big expectations, that when the real thing comes, it may not live up to these expectations. When we are just crushing on someone, we have fantasies that give us hope and make us think that if something happens, it will be good.
The little things he does, like hugging us when we accidentally see each other, or smiling at us in the hallway, also make us happy. We don’t even want to think he may be doing these things just to be nice or friendly; we want to continue thinking that he might like us.
Most of the time, we are scared that he won’t like us, so we don’t make the first move and just wait for him to do it. We also might avoid flirting with him, so he wouldn’t find out that we like him. Our fears grow when we think that he might not like us back, and starts ignoring us, which would make the whole situation even more awkward.
If by some chance we start dating a crush we’ve had for a while, things are probably not going to be as awesome as we expected them to be. We might have nothing to talk about, we might fight all the time, discover something about him that might be a deal breaker, and eventually break up. But, then again, things might work out. It might be just as perfect as we imagined.
Crushes might be fun and they could keep us happy for a while. They could prevent us from seeing reality. In a relationship, reality is usually right in front of us. Sometimes relationships with guys we’ve liked or loved for a while might not be what we expect them to be. They may be worse than our fantasies or sometimes even better, but we are never going to know what it would be like to be with the person we love unless we try.
Crushes are weird. They start as mere admiration, but end up in something completely unexpected. Some crushes are short ‘phases’ that we get over quickly, but some last longer, much longer that what we would expect. We tend to develop fantasies about the ones we like longer. Those fantasies may be incredible, or, perhaps, unrealistic. We could picture ourselves with the guy we like in a perfect relationship without any problems, when, in reality, the relationship might not work out at all. We could have such big expectations, that when the real thing comes, it may not live up to these expectations. When we are just crushing on someone, we have fantasies that give us hope and make us think that if something happens, it will be good.
The little things he does, like hugging us when we accidentally see each other, or smiling at us in the hallway, also make us happy. We don’t even want to think he may be doing these things just to be nice or friendly; we want to continue thinking that he might like us.
Most of the time, we are scared that he won’t like us, so we don’t make the first move and just wait for him to do it. We also might avoid flirting with him, so he wouldn’t find out that we like him. Our fears grow when we think that he might not like us back, and starts ignoring us, which would make the whole situation even more awkward.
If by some chance we start dating a crush we’ve had for a while, things are probably not going to be as awesome as we expected them to be. We might have nothing to talk about, we might fight all the time, discover something about him that might be a deal breaker, and eventually break up. But, then again, things might work out. It might be just as perfect as we imagined.
Crushes might be fun and they could keep us happy for a while. They could prevent us from seeing reality. In a relationship, reality is usually right in front of us. Sometimes relationships with guys we’ve liked or loved for a while might not be what we expect them to be. They may be worse than our fantasies or sometimes even better, but we are never going to know what it would be like to be with the person we love unless we try.
Elena Gagovska